In the Belly of Being

 

A tiger came for me.

A deal attempted; consenting to freedom but negotiating to keep a few links of the chains that bound.

Agreeing to be what I am, and secretly stashing a little of what I am not in the back of the suitcase.

Doesn’t work that way, and this is known, known, known.

Meanwhile, that slavering, slobbering, stinking beast is growling and drooling all over. It doesn’t care about wounds, dismemberment, death. It has what’s left of the ridiculously non-existent me in its jaws, and the worst has begun. Consummation.

It doesn’t see destruction, only result: its own fuller belly.

It shakes its head once, twice, working up to… what? An orgy of pulling and ripping? Flying away with a broken bloody body in its jaws, to devour what remains of the nothing me at its leisure?

This is utter impersonal ruthlessness with a laser beam focus. Its owness prime; all else but in service to that.

There is sickness unto death of the pretense of a point of view, gluey thoughts, an imagined duo.

Reality is toying here; It conceals and pretends to look. Hides, then simulates seeking. Foundness is happening, a violent end to what never was.

So make way, make way. Time to go.

Ripped flesh, empty shell, final shreds of self. Time to go.

Tiger is eating my name.


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About Lisa Kahale

Just THIS.

10 responses »

  1. Hello Lisa

    With the recognition that every awakening is unique even as it also is universal, I’m curious about this apparent struggle that seems so, well, violent. How does this look in everyday life, that you are being devoured?

    Reply
    • Hi Lori. It’s what we no-selfers call the remnants of identification. I know you’ve seen this around. Some thoughts die harder than others, apparently. Here, there were a number of truly explosive awakenings. The direct experience of them faded, leaving no Lisa, and the knowing of spacious awareness usually, rather than experience of it. And concurrently, there is continued ‘death’ of self (go figure) along with what can only be called stepping into the Void. Hard to describe, and although I’ve searched, hard to find ‘others’ with awakening happening similarly. Maybe no one talks about it.

      What it looks like in everyday life is fear, tears, laughter, joy. It’s like getting scoured from the inside out. Cleaner than ever before and some missing flesh here and there. The good news: Total knowing that it’s perfect. Whew.

      Reply
      • I think no one talks about it :-)
        Lovely piece. Thanks, Lisa!
        Elizabeth

      • Thanks Elizabeth. Good to get a confirmation about the ‘nobody talks about it’. There is some kind of impetus to report what’s happening here, and this is what’s happening. At first there was discomfort when not a lot of similar experiences could be found. Now it’s just this; angst, joy and all. 3 months ago my eyeballs would have fried in their sockets if they’d seen this coming.

  2. Wow, quite a gnarly ride (pun intended)… :)

    Revealing post! Much appreciation…

    Namaste,

    -Brad

    Reply
  3. Beautiful piece Lisa.
    Bill relates to this ripping and gnawing.

    Love,
    Bill

    Reply
  4. Oh I am so NOT surprised, Bill! The ripping is my favorite.

    Lots of love.

    Reply
  5. You have (and are) experiencing one heck of a ‘ride’ – hang in there dearest …. Quite the laser focus – as usual!

    Reply

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