Fundamentally Not Me


So… who is it that wakes up? Since there is no self, no I or me, and something is obviously still conscious and aware, what is it?What is awake?

First, a description. Two experiences of the personal self as non-existent happen here. The first and most powerful is what occurs  in the explosive awakenings that take place: There is a shockingly empty space, profoundly lacking in anything at all, where the ‘I’ had previously been ‘experienced’, where it was customarily sensed as being ‘located’. The emptiness of this is so obvious that, when it’s seen, it is ludicrous to imagine that anything ever was there. The formerly held belief in a separate ‘me’ becomes ridiculous, and a lot of belly laughing ensues.

The second way no self is experienced is the more sustained of the two. It is a quiet blankness where self used to be, and it is this that is the usual experience. Volcanic awakenings have their moment in the sun, to be sure, and then they fade, leaving a residue of deeper awareness, disappeared belief, and more tangible knowing. This is where the meat of the matter resides, everyday existence as something entirely new and gloriously unburdened of a demanding, insecure, lonely little me.

Without a personal identity, consciousness Itself is what lives, perceives, speaks, thinks, feels, sits, sleeps. And that is the way it always was, even before the falseness of ‘I’ was recognized. The I was never real to begin with, yet all along living, awareing, speaking, thinking, feeling, sitting, sleeping consistently took place. Everything simply happens, with no self needed to ‘do’ anything, then or now.

It was and is only consciousness here, not a human self. Radical stuff, this. Also entirely ordinary and natural. It’s what is; what isn’t is what used to be believed: a personal self, considered by ‘me’ to be Queen of the Show. However, once the lights came up it was seen that me wasn’t even there, much less in charge. Such sweet relief that it isn’t the one waking up!

And here’s the very short little video that will add the punchline.


About Lisa Kahale

Just THIS.

8 responses »

  1. Wonderful post – thank you! I am so ready for ‘IT’ to wake up in ‘me’! Hope it’s very soon and not a later lifetime.

  2. Check out this Never Not Here interview with Bernie Prior…

    He is speaking about consciousness also evolving here, through the ‘agency” of material life forms. Like Cohen, he is oriented to see Awareness, Presence, Consciousness, as both changless and changing…depending on the level of view, absolute or relative. I like where you going with your writings Lisa, and am truly tickled that the belief in no-self has melted into the realization that identity remains, but not as a finite clutching to traits and habits, but rather as a part of the totality, as the totality in this form, through this form, as this form.

    Next I’m in HI, we must have a meeting!


    Lori Ann

    • Just recently there was that same insight here, Lori… ‘changeless and changing… absolute or relative’. Both are so utterly obvious! Sure, the Absolute is the final frontier (really the only one) yet relative versions of Reality are dreamed here for a reason. Duh. Hahahaha! LOVE THIS STUFF!
      See you here!
      Big Hugs!

  3. Oh sweet, just watched your video. Lovely! Yes, I have be saying that for a long time now, well, since i woke up–which is to say, since awareness woke up to itself. My awakened dreamer FB page about says simply “waking up to awareness, awareness waking up to itself.” I’d like to add, this is a self evident truth, living and breathing truth, that is so delightful when realized. Which is why when folks are in the dissolution of old self, and then then, “ah, it’s all about noself, I don’t exist” and yet have yet to realize the deeper truth of true nature, they can get stuck in a mantra of “no self, no-me, no doer” — which is a dead end and can be a new ego trap. In the group that you and I belonged to (that i retired from) this was prevalent…..not with the founder, mind you, but with the downline. :-)

    • I never got that bit about staying in ‘no one here, no doer’. It’s true.. there is no doer. Yet to go limp in that space seems pretty not alive. There is so much gratitude here for finding Jed McKenna shortly after awakening… I am considering having ‘Further’ tattooed on my forehead.
      Much love,

  4. Hi Lisa,
    It gives me great pleasure to nominate you for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award. Please go to my post of May 8 for more information about receiving this award.
    Thank you for inspiring me!
    ~ Paul


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